I Think I Might be a Boob Nazi

Every now and again, something happens that reminds me that I'm TOTALLY pregnant. Like this morning, when I was watching The View (shut up. I don't know how I came to start watching The View. All I know is that lately, if it becomes 10:00, and the television is not turned to The View, something in my universe feels terribly off-kilter. BD doesn't understand why I watch it, since it normally just pisses me off.)

Whew. So yeah, I was watching The View, and realized that my pregnancy hormones must be raging out of control, because I am crying. Tears of JOY. At a montage of the most memorable moments of the season, or some such, which culminates in a clip of the cast of The View intermingled with what is apparently the current Broadway cast of Hair, singing Let The Sunshine In all together, and Barbara Walters flashes a peace sign, and I melt into a heap of joyful sobs. Because clearly, this means, THERE WILL BE WORLD PEACE.

But anyway, the whole point of me typing in this box on the internet is what happend before that, which was one of those times when watching The View really pissed me off and made me want to kill Elizabeth Hasselbeck in a slow and painfully torturous way. Usually it's the political nonsense she spouts off that makes me feel homicidal, but today, it was her comments about breastfeeding.

When she first started talking about the dream she had in which she was breastfeeding her new baby, and then her two current kidlets were also nursing, I was optimistic, thinking she was going to proclaim the joys of extended breastfeeding or tandem nursing.

But no. She goes on to say that she thinks it's wrong to breastfeed a child who is old enough to ask for milk.

Um. What?

Lots of women (I intend to be one of them) teach their babies to sign "milk" before they are able to speak. So, babies can ask for milk before they can say "Hey mom, can you whip out your tit please?" Then there's that whole thing about hunger cues, so, essentially, they can "ask for milk" from, you know, BIRTH.

But anyway (I promise to spare you a rundown of the benefits of breastmilk, so bare with me), the World Health Organization recommends exclusively breastfeeding for the first 6 months of life, and continuing to breastfeed in conjunction with introducing solids for 2 years and beyond. I'm pretty sure most two year olds know how to ask for milk.

In other words, don't be surprised if, say a year and a half from now, you see me out with my daughter somewhere, and she says "Hey mom, can you whip out your tit?" and I say "Sure honey" and proceed to whip out my tit.