Classy Lady

So we've begun the slew of birth/baby related classes that we signed up for. We have learned a thing or two (maybe three things?) that we didn't already know. We've taken the "Happiest Baby on the Block" class (learned how to properly swaddle, became alarmed at the volume of "SSSSSHHHHHH"ing required to calm a crying baby), the Breastfeeding class (didn't learn a whole lot new there, but did get to see what a "good latch" looks like, which is helpful) and today was the "Childbirth Preparedness Class" (which could have easily been titled "Childbirth Preparedness for those who trust the medical establishment more than their own bodies"....also, they could have just done the epidural part first and then everyone in the class except for us could have left, since it seemed to be the main thing the other ladies were concerned about).

Anyway, the main thing we learned today is that I am actually a 14 year old boy.

I did a really, really good job of keeping my mouth shut about cascades of interventions and how our bodies are made to do this and don't require drugs from the moment we go into labor, because obviously these ladies were only interested in "HOW SOON CAN I HAVE THE EPIDURAL? CAN I GET IT TODAY???". For some reason, though, when we got to the part where we laid down on our mats with our pillows for relaxation exercises, I couldn't hold my laughter in. Here we are, at pretty much the only "natural" part of the entire day, and I'm trying so hard not to laugh at the lady's voice on the CD with the cheesy music in the background, telling me to imagine I'm "resting by the oceanside, or, you know, something that's relaxing for you", that I am shaking. And the sight of my belly shaking so hard is making BD hold in laughter, which makes it even worse, until the point where I let out a laugh and simultaneously fart.

Yes, that's right. *I* was the one who farted during the relaxation techniques, and then I pretty much totally lost it.

I had to turn my head away from BD for the remainder of the relaxation portion, because even the slightest glimpse of him out of the corner of my eye was enough to put me into laughing hyena mode. I was so focused on NOT LAUGHING that I paid very little attention to cheesy relaxation CD lady until I tuned into her saying "You've just completed a 70 second contraction!" and I turned to BD and said "Wow, that was really easy!" and lost it all over again.